The Result That No One Fucking Wanted.

Getting through this post is going to be tough and it’s probably going to be short. I’m sobbing as I’m typing this.

A big fat fucking negative.

I was so good. I didn’t test. I got super nauseous Saturday evening, ended up throwing up at dinner. Semi-nauseous the next day. I thought I had to be! No period yet; I have to be pregnant. I’m not. I cheated the morning of and tested so that I was prepared if they told me in the office. It was negative, but I thought maybe my levels are too low right now for a pee test. Nope.

They took blood, and I had to go home and wait some more. Yay. She called and well, you know. I am sad, frustrated, heartbroken, tired, stressed, and mad.

So that’s it. We start fucking over. She wants me to do another HSG (hysterosalpingogram) again, which allows them to see the tubes and ovaries and make sure it’s all working properly. Not looking forward to that because it’s painful AS FUCK.

So whenever my period decides to show up, I’ll call cycle day 1, and start all over again. I am a bit worried. I only have 1 vial of this donor left. So, I don’t know what’s best in moving forward. Try again and simultaneously look for a new donor? Try IVF and spend a fuck ton of $? Plus all that it puts my body through. I don’t know.

I appreciate all of you who have been so supportive, sending baby dust, and rooting for me. I guess this one wasn’t my time. Alicia said, “this one wasn’t meant to be. It probably had a huge, weird nose or webbed feet.” So we’re sticking with that.