Someone said that to me and it hit me hard, like I guess I am! So I’m rolling with it.
So Friday night mom and I had dinner, did a little gambling, came home early to relax, watch some tv, and then head to bed. Well, I slept for shiiiiiiiit because I was so anxious. But before bed, I used it as a time to manifest the shit out of fertility. I threw in my earbuds, turned on Capri by Colbie Caillat. I found this that night and cried the minute it started. So I used it on repeat, as my manifestation music. I sang, I cried, and I wrote out a whole thing thanking the universe for letting me be this baby’s mama.
I got up, nervously had breakfast, and we headed to the doctor’s office. I have never seen this office so quiet, haha. But it was kind of cool being the only one in there, getting all her attention, and feeling more intimate. Dr. Duke went over the analysis of my donor sperm. 6 MILLION little swimmers in there (though as you can see, doesn’t look like a lot). I literally said, “holy shit!” out loud, haha. Which she said is the magic number, and damn good for a few year old frozen sperm. If you don’t remember or missed it, I talked about my donor and all that of here.
She explained how it would happen and said that it’s pretty anticlimactic. I’m glad she warned me because it was. It seems, of course, like an event, and it is, but the procedure itself takes all of 5 minutes. I didn’t feel a thing, and just like that, it was done. She talked me through the whole thing, what she was doing, etc. That we were getting these swimmers up as close to the eggs as possible. Then boom, just like that, it was over. She then had me lay there for 10, which turned into about 20 ish because I wasn’t paying attention; mom and I were talking, we called my dad, etc. Then I realized we’d definitely been in there for over 10 minutes, haha. Oops!
It’s definitely weird. To drive home as if it’s a normal drive home, but it’s not. Like, I just made a baby, but nothing feels different yet? There was no fun performance of sex or anything ending in fireworks and a baby. It was a simple procedure that took 5 minutes. My mom said, “I’ve been there for a good amount of births yet, but I’ve never been there for the making of it.” Which made me laugh because, well, of course, she hasn’t. That’d be awkward as fuuuuuck, haha. So I do love that we got to have that; even as clinical as it is, it was awesome having her there with me.
So now we wait. Sort of. My pregnancy test appointment is February 1st, and they suggest waiting because the trigger shot can show a false positive for 12 days. UGH, annoying. I’m also impatient as fuck, haha. In the meantime, I will start new meds, and keep up on this whole lot of pills regimen.
I start progesterone tablets, 1 twice a day. Estradiol 1 twice a day. 1 baby aspirin a day. All of these below are: multivitamin, Choline, vitamin D, CoQ10, and Bromelain (the enzyme found in pineapple core which I’ll only take for another day or so.)
I’m really fucking impatient so I have to try to stay busy while also staying very zen haha. How the fuck does that work? I am working on manifesting frequently. May seem silly but I’ve said good night and good morning to the babe every day since. I have a REALLY good feeling about this one. I cannot thank you all enough for the messages of support I’ve received since sharing the news about moving forward. The prayers, thoughts, manifestations, etc. have truly been amazing and I appreciate it more than I can ever say. I’m putting it out in the universe now more than ever…