Listen, going through trying to conceive, whether traditionally, or with the help of a fertility doctor it is stressful as fuck. And most aren’t parents yet, though, with embryos on ice, my friend said “you’re a mama now regardless!” It hit me like a ton of bricks because she’s right. However, in the pursuit of trying to have a baby it’s stressful, hard as fuck, and taxing on literally every part of your life. I thought I’d put together some ideas for little gifts you can buy for the mamas in your life that are currently trying to get pregnant. A small gesture can certainly make us feel less alone in all of this, especially those of us doing it solo. Not to mention, dealing with infertility and watching everyone celebrate their mothers, or being mothers, it can feel even more isolating. A nice little gift to partner, friend, daughter, sister in your life who is most likely struggling in silence.
Top gifts I recommend from someone struggling with infertility and trying to conceive
Massage/Acupuncture: Typically I would recommend some bath stuff so she can slow down and relax, but depending on where they are in their cycle, they might not be able to take baths. Soaking is not good during certain parts. So, even better? A massage or acupuncture. Find a local place you know they like, or find an acupuncturist that specializes in fertility treatment. It is sooo relaxing which helps when IVF is stressful as fuck. I did it before and will be doing it again during my FET.
Flowers: If you know they’re a lover of flowers, this goes a long way. It doesn’t even need to be some big ol’ grand bouquet. Honestly just a small, “I’m thinking about you” gesture is amazing. I love ordering flowers from Bouqs because they’re GORGEOUS. My favorite of theirs right now is this beauty.
Fooooood: First of all, remember I said it’s stressful? Yea having to NOT think about what to make for dinner, or having to spend time at the store, etc. would be great. Not to mention stims and meds make you hungry as fuck. Like so hungry. So a meal program for a week is super helpful. Blue Apron lets you buy meal gift cards so they can sign up and get a meal plan started.
Unique Items: A shameless plug but also, I’d want these going through it, and definitely have most of them at my house because I love them so much. They’re realistic, and we all need a big laugh when going through all of this. Not to mention, they benefit my IVF journey. The profits help pay for my expensive as fuck baby-making journey.
A card: I know it seems sort of archaic but getting a note that says “I see you and I’m here for you” means the fucking world. And it doesn’t have to be a boring card. I am LOVING Love Pop cards lately. They’re all so beautiful and you can even get a flower bouquet if you don’t want to buy real ones!
At-home Pampering: Especially when you can’t take a bath, a little pampering of your skin or hair can help you relax. It’s something I’ve had to add to my routine to be able to relax. I’ve incorporated skincare kits, meditating, and lighting my favorite candles from Evil Queen.
Therapy: I cannot stress this enough, T H E R A P Y! I think more people should be in therapy just for their regular lives. It truly helps to have someone there that you can talk to about literally anything. I like Talkspace because it’s right there on your phone, always in reach. You can send them messages any time of day, and they’ll respond by end of the day, or the next morning if it’s overnight. I like this because I can reach out during an anxiety attack, write out what I’m feeling, and what’s going on, and it allows me to get it out at that moment. I then work on calming down and letting it pass on my own. Then go over it with my therapist as soon as she’s available. You can buy a Talkspace Gift Card for anyone!
I know it’s not typical, as some of us are not yet mothers, but holidays, especially this one seems to only amplify the struggles we’re going through, the losses we’ve experienced, and our stressful journeys. A little gift that lets someone know that you see them, you see their struggles, and you’re thinking about them can go a very, very long way.