I Didn’t Dream of a Wedding.

March 15, 2019

For years I went from long term relationship to the next in an attempt to find the person who would ultimately give me what I’ve wanted my entire life…

A child of my own.

I had some great relationships and people I loved, but a few of them ended in direct relation to the fact I wanted babies, and they didn’t (yet). As the years have gone on, coupled with the fact that I’ve been single for a little over 3 years, I’ve started to realize that maybe I’m supposed to be single. Perhaps that’s not forever, but I wasn’t the kid who’s dreamt of my wedding since I was young. I didn’t picture what it would look like, what I would wear, none of that. In my adult years, there were a few things, like proposal at a Dodgers game and the fact that I’d wear Converse Chucks, because fuck heels.

The only thing I’ve dreamt of since I was young was having my own kid(s). Creating a tiny human that is 50% me. A tiny human that I can teach to be a good, kind, unique, loving, and smart human. A little piece of me for the world to pass it all on when I’m gone. Because of the failed relationships, my career path, and all of that shit, I wasn’t sure it was going to be my reality.

Slowly over the years, there’s been women of statue making the choice to create these tiny humans on their own. I only recently realized that I was in a position to make that choice for myself. I made the choice to not wait for anyone else to bring joy into this life.

To my future babe:

I told your grandma + papa the plans and they’re stoked! I think papa is really excited to finally have a grandbaby that is truly a biological part of him. I’m excited for you to meet them when the day comes. They’re pretty fucking rad.

I also told your aunties who are super fucking excited. They were always waiting for me to be next.

I was waiting on timing. I was waiting on you. ?


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